No More Fighting: Say It Ain't So

I’m tired of the NHL trying to regulate/ban fighting.

It’s sad that Don Sanderson died, but I do not think that the NHL should take into account what happens in another league. The NHL is full of millionaires getting big bucks for the most part and they get paid to take those risks. A tower crane operator gets paid big bucks because there is a chance he’s going to fall a few hundred feet to his death. The NHL is trying to take away all the risk associated with the game.

The league is talking about only letting players fight after an illegal hit which would ban fights that were after legal hits and what they call “staged fights”. This means no fights off the faceoff. I guess next time George Parros and Raitis Ivanans want to fight they are going to have to get their permission slips signed by Colin Campbell.

In my opinion Colin Campbell should have to step down from his position as disciplinarian. How are you going to have someone hold that position when their own son plays in the league? Are you going to say that he would suspend Gregory Campbell or that there wouldn’t be bias when analyzing an illegal play involving his son? It’s like having a judge try his son for a civil crime.

Fighting is one of things that makes hockey unique to other sports and they just need to leave it alone. If you ask someone who does not watch hockey what they think of it, the first thing out of their mouth is “I like when they fight”.

I think Don Cherry was right when he was saying how the NHL has committees for everything. They got a competition committee and they have a head shot committee, they just need to play the game and stop messing around with it.

For the most part I don’t like the direction the league is heading by trying to take the physical play out of the league. Hits that were applauded a few years ago are frowned upon and fighting that has become a facet in the league is being scrutinized and could possibly be taken out. I can say that at the rate we’re going, that in 40 years when I’m in my 60s, I probably won’t be watching NHL hockey anymore.

… And could someone please tell St. Louis to stop playing Pink during a fight, I feel embarrassed for them.

But I Want Roll Bars

The one thing I have noticed while looking for new hockey gloves recently is that Bauer has begun to phase out the classic roll bar look. They are bringing in this new futuristic look that looks more like part of someone's drunken baby sister’s Halloween costume.

As I peruse through the Bauer website there is only one pair left that has roll bars. As you scan through all the gloves, those are the ones that stick out and you’ll probably say to yourself, “those are the nicest looking gloves on the page.” The only problem with these gloves are that they are $90 plus shipping (definitely not finding them at Modell's), and for a college student who goes through a pair of gloves every two-to-three months, this is out of the question.

What this travesty has led me to do is start to look into getting my old pairs of gloves repalmed. Most gloves themselves will last for a long time, but it’s the palm that rips or wears out.

There are multiple places online where you can send your old gloves and they will repalm them for about $45. Most gloves have palms made out of a synthetic material called clarino. It is thinner than leather, but one problem I have found with some of my gloves is that they dry hard, and the next time I play they are uncomfortable until I start sweating in them to loosen them up.

One option is to get your gloves repalmed with leather which costs the same as clarino. The one good thing about leather is that they dry soft. They are also thicker which some people may not like, but in theory they should last longer. So for those of you who really like Bauer gloves, but can’t stand the new junk they are putting out, getting your classic gloves repalmed may be the road to go.

Super Seven - Nicknames

This list includes only stars. There will be a later one just for enforcers. I tried for the most part to stay away from your standard nicknames (Red, Rocket, Flash, etc.)

7. Jovocop
You got to love a defenseman who can do it all. Ed Jovanovski had over 50 points this year, but one of my favorite moments from this past season was his fight with Jarome Iginla. Jovocop is obviously a spin off of Robocop, but in my opinion he has the best nickname in the NHL today.

6. The Mighty Atom
Aurel Joliat is one of the craziest players of all time. When he was in his 70's he attended an NHL reunion when he threw-down twice with former NHLer, Punch Broadent. Once told by Clarence Campbell to stay in their hotel rooms, Joliat broke into Broadent's room and continued the brawl. At 5-7, 130 lbs. it's no mystery why they call him the Mighty Atom.

5. Cyclone Taylor
You don't get your own statue in the Hall of Fame next to Ken Dryden unless you're the real deal. Cyclone Taylor was the best player of his day. His nickname is so well known that you never hear his real first name: Frederick.

4. Roadrunner
Yvan Cournoyer's real name is just as cool as his nickname. This speedy Canadien lived up to his nickname.

3. Chicoutimi Cucumber
The Chicoutimi native, Georges Vezina, was as cool as the come in net thanks to that toque.

2. Terrible Ted
Before there was Lucky Luc there was Terrible Ted. Ted Lindsay was the best left winger of his time. Terrible Teddy lived up to his name, he was hated every other player on every other team and they hated him. He fought in an all star game, taunted fans with "the rifle" when he received death threats in Toronto, and shook the league up when he tried to start a Players Association.

1. Boom Boom Geoffrion
Bernie Geoffrion is another one of those players whose nickname basically replaced his real first name. Boom Boom got his name by being the alleged inventor of the slap shot.

Hockey's Glory Days

The best purchase I made on my recent trip to Toronto, other than a couple of pitchers of beer, was made in Chapters book store. It was called Hockey’s Glory Days (stories from the original six era) and was written by hockey historian and former Hockey Night in Canada commentator Brian McFarlane.

Now, first let me tell you that I’m not a real big reader and will barely ever pick up a book if I don’t have to, but this is one of those books that I didn’t want to stop reading.

The book starts off with a real nice opening from Terrible Ted Lindsay and is then broken up into six chapters, one for each original team.

In each chapter there are twenty or so short stories and really nice full size photos on about every other page.

Some of the best stories I’ve read so far had to do with Aurel Joliat causing multiple brawls at a hockey legends dinner when he was in his 70’s, Gerry Cheevers telling a kid in Montreal that he was going to cut his dog’s balls off, and Eddie Shore, who owned a team in Springfield after he retired, making players practice tap dancing in hotel lobbies and tying his goalie to the net during practice.

These and multiple other stories will leave you more surprised than when Martin St.Louis watched Alex Ovechkin eat a bag of chips on the ice at last year’s all star game.

Can I Get Some Cesare on the Side?

The only person happier to hear about the Great Expansion of the NHL in ’67, other than the owners who knew they would get a couple million dollars thrown their way, was Cesare Maniago.

Cesare could not get a break early in his career playing behind Jacques Plante on the Habs and Johnny Bower on the Leafs. Maniago started off playing without a mask, but not long after being claimed by the North Stars, he began sporting the mask. There’s nothing cooler than the goalies of the 60s and 70s when they wore the Jason Voorhees looking masks.

Before Maniago donned the mask, he and Gump Worsley had the best kept hair in the league. But as soon as he put that mask on he looked like a completely different person. He looked more like Doug Jones in Hocus Pocus with a goalie mask on. Maybe he just liked drive to the game with his head out the car window like a shaggy dog, looking all disheveled during the game.

His stature at 6’3” made him look even cooler and popular with the fans as they would chant “Hail Cesare” every time he made a save. These two attributes make Maniago one of the coolest old school hockey cards you can find. You just can't help but ask, “who is that?” when you pull him out of a pack of Parkhursts.

Cesare ended up playing nine seasons with the North Stars before he was traded to Vancouver. Two years later he hung the mask up and retired. Today Cesare owns a sporting good store in British Columbia.

Jason Smith Will Thud You

Some would say Jason Smith is one of the most underrated players in the NHL. The reason is mostly because he doesn’t show up on the score sheet too often, but the guy they call “Gator” makes up for this lack of scoring in other various ways.

He is a proven leader as he has shown over the years. In the AHL he led the Albany River Rats as their captain to a Calder Cup. He then went to Toronto after his stint with New Jersey where he wore an “A”. Smith then went to Edmonton where he wore the “C” longer than any other player in Edmonton history. He now graces the “C” for Philadelphia and is leading them out of the worst season in Flyers history.

He has also always been known for blocking shots, and this year is no different as he is third in the league with 70 blocks. Smith is a hardworking and physical defenseman that will stand up and fight for his teammates even in preseason, as he showed when he fought Brendan Shanahan.

His first goal as a Flyer could not have been more appropriate as he dropped to block a shot and then dove from his knees to swat the puck into the opposing team’s empty net. There’s nothing like watching the grizzly Gator stand forwards up as they cross the blue line, and as captain Jason Smith continues his blue collar style of play he will continue to be a fan favorite.

Hansons Come Home

There is no doubt that the Hanson Brothers are the greatest trio in the greatest hockey movie ever.

We all still find ourselves repeating those same lines from the movie that was made 30 years ago and we all wish could go back to the War Memorial and just watch the Hansons and the rest of the Chiefs terrorize the federal league with their antics.

Well, December 22 is the closet that anyone is going to get to that when the Hansons return to the Cambria County War Memorial to sign autographs when the Johnstown Chiefs take on the Cincinnati Cyclones.

This is the actual arena that the movie was shot in. This legendary arena is a hike from the east coast, about 6 hours from Philadelphia. But just think about it... you could say you met the Hansons at the War Memorial during a Chiefs game. Not many people will be able to say that.

It's great that the trio embrace their role as hockey legends and make public appearances in character. Now if we can only get Paul Newman to stop making salad dressing and salsa and come out to the War Memorial as Reg Dunlop.

I think a train ticket to Johnstown would be the perfect gift for any die hard hockey fan.

Super Seven - Shoulder Patches

7. Pittsburgh Pirates
Yes, there was once a hockey team in the NHL called the Pittsburgh Pirates. They joined the league in 1925, and they were only in the league for 5 years. When the Great Depression hit they moved to Philadelphia to become the Quakers. Their patch is a replica of what used to be worn by Pittsburgh’s finest.

6. Quebec Nordiques
In many people’s opinion the Nords have one of the nicest jerseys ever in the NHL, in part because Quebec decided to put the fleur-de-lis on the shoulders and and along the bottom of their jersey. Hockey die-hards would like nothing better than to see those baby blue uniforms in full flight once again.

5. Toronto Maple Leafs
In 1992 the Leafs changed from their clean cut maple leaf patch to the older more rustic style one that the boys in blue used to wear as their crest in the early days of the NHL.

4. Boston Bruins
The Bruins decided to go old school when the new Reebok jerseys came out as they put the Bruins logo from the 1920’s on their shoulders.

3. Hartford Whalers
When the Whalers broke onto the scene in 1979, Gordie Howe was not only rocking his full name on the back of his jersey, but a cartoon whale on his shoulders. The Whale unfortunately abandoned the patch in 1985.

2. Vancouver Canucks
In 2003, the Canucks just like the Bruins and the Leafs went old school and put the simple, but ever popular stick logo on their shoulders. This patch was such a hit they decided to make it their third jersey before switching over to the new style Reeboks.

1. Chicago Blackhawks
It doesn’t get much better than the crossed Tomahawks over the “C” on the Blackhawks jersey. The hawks started wearing it in 1955 and has continued to do so for over 50 years.

The Kovalchuk/Torres Hybrid

If Ilya Kovalchuk and Raffi Torres had a baby...

Parros The Porn Star

It’s hard to miss the 6’5” George Parros when he’s out on the ice for the Anaheim Ducks with his long hair blowing in the wind and manly mustache that puts Burt Reynolds’ to shame.

Last year when the Ducks won the cup and each player was getting the chance to hoist and kiss the cup, Parros took the liberty of rubbing his mustache [SEE PIC] all over the holy grail of hockey. He has 18 fights in his last two seasons and this year he shows no signs of slowing down with 4 already.

The most notable one this season was against the boogeyman himself, Derek Boogaard. He was able to beat the Minnosoata heavyweight and even cut him open. Parros' past bouts were against some of the best veteran goons in the league including Donald Brashear and Chris Simon.

With the Ducks winning the cup last year and also having the most fights, Parros is helping to bring fighting back to this game. George, however, is not just all about the blood and fisticuffs, he also has a softer side.

Each year he grows his hair out and cuts it for Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for kids with cancer. Just imagine, there's some little kid out there rocking a George Parros wig.

This 80’s porn star has become such a fan favorite that the Ducks now sell replica Parros mustaches. The proceeds of which also go towards charity. This season as opposing teams come into Anaheim to face the defending champs, they need remember one thing...

FEAR THE STACHE!

The Melrose/Tortorella Hybrid

If Barry Melrose and John Tortorella had a baby...

Toothless Tenacity

There are a few fashion statements that are synonymous with hockey players: the grizzly lumberjack look of Bryan Marchment and Jason Smith; the grey playoff beards of Scott Niedermayer and Ray Bourque; and the long hair blowing in the wind of Guy Lafleur and Gil Perreault.

These looks have been copied by many players, but it seems that more players in the NHL should take a page out of the books of the toothless Paul Stastny and Dany Heatley.

With both players missing teeth and their early season success, you have to ask yourself if there is a connection. They are threatening to set a trend that has dentists and oral surgeons sulking like Alex Cherepanov on draft day.

The toothless look makes players look mean and nasty. Lifelong instigator Tie Domi intentionally knocked his own pearly whites out as a child on the handle bars of his huffy in order to look like his idol and famous toothless warrior, Bobby Clarke.

The missing chiclet look appears to give these players superhuman ability. The 21 year old Stastny as of 10/18/07 is tied for the lead in points with 13 including 5 goals in 6 games. Dany Heatley already has 7 goals and 11 points in 7 games. These two toothless young guns will be putting on show all season long.